At lunch today with Jen Gash, founder and executive director of Sweet Sleep, I heard the story of her recent trip to Uganda. It was the nonprofit's first trip to Africa, where they provided beds for hundreds of orphans.

The entire village was thankful that Jen and her team came to build beds there. As a show of their gratitude, they held a celebration once the beds were ready. Of course, Jen and her American team were very unready for what ensued: hours and hours of celebration, dance, speeches and partying.

Then, in the middle of all that celebration, the team stood amazed as the villagers began to bring gifts. Widows offered fruit by the dozen. One man gave them a 10-foot long sugar cane. This continued for some time until one widow approached Jen and placed in her hand a coin – probably the only money this woman had to her name.

Jen faced a dilemma. Here were all these people that her team came to help. There were so many people in need. Yet, they freely gave what little they had.

Jen knew better than to thwart their generosity. But 1) she couldn't logistically come back to the US with all that fruit and sugar cane, and 2) she didn't need the money the widow had given her.

In speaking with the local pastor, Jen made arrangements to have the food given to nearby children who were hungry. And she and her team gave the money they received to local orphanage personnel. They did all this without the widows and gift givers knowing about it.

Jen told me, "We couldn’t accept the gifts they were giving to us. But, we happily accepted them and then made sure we did something good with them."

Peter Gomes, preacher and writer, tells a story in his book, The Good Book. When he was a young preacher he visited a rural church and preached one Sunday morning. This poor, small-town congregation took up a special offering to pay him for his services. But, when they tried to present it to him at the end of the service, he refused to accept it.

They next day, when back on campus, the campus minister called him into his office and scolded him for not taking the gift. Gomes tried to reason with the minister that the community needed that small amount of money more than he, a young man on scholarship, did. The minister then told him that he had done more harm by not taking the money. "You have stolen from them. You took their right to be generous."

We've all been there. The awkward moment when we're trying to decide who's supposed to pay for lunch. Or when we have to split the check seven ways. Or when we're not sure if we should send the holiday card because we can't remember if we got one from them last year. Or if we should really make the trip to the wedding. Or if we need to go to the baby shower. Or if they're the kind of friend that deserves the waffle maker or hand towels as a registry gift.

Simply put, generosity is hard.

But only when we try to measure it.

In The Reluctant Fundamentalist, the narrator is telling his tale over dinner with an American who is visiting Pakistan. He weaves in tips about the local customs throughout his story and he also tells his companion that he will pay for dinner, along with admonishing him that in America, people keep score about who has paid for what. From his viewpoint, the narrator tells him that he believes it all balances out. By worrying less about who owes what and concentrating more on their time together, everyone can enjoy each other’s company more and have a better time – and a better life.

Bruce Northam, in Globetrotter Dogma quips, "Money is how uncreative people keep score." I like that quote, which is why I know it verbatim from memory.

But it's difficult – especially in this economy. When dollars stretch tighter than ever, we can't help but measure every penny. When we owe creditors mortgage notes and credit card interest, we are always reminded that someone, somewhere is keeping score. And that someone is rarely generous to us.

In The Alchemist, the title character offers up all of Santiago's wealth if a tribal leader will not kill the boy, but let him live at least three more days. The tribal leader grants the request, but Santiago is furious that the alchemist has lost all of his money. "He would have killed you on the spot if I hadn't offered your money," retorts the alchemist. "What good is your money if you're dead?"

I'm not saying that we need to go on a spending spree, eating, drinking and being merry since we'll die tomorrow. But I am saying that we don't need to keep score as much. Sure, saving is important, but not at the expense of being generous. By giving something away, you might finally realize how much you really do have.

And if the karma of the universe decides to even everything out, and you find yourself on the receiving end of generosity, do as Jen and her team did and promise to do something good with what has been given to you.

Photo Credit: avlxyz

I spend a few hours each day on the phone. It's how I do a lot of work - talking with clients, potential partners and even answering customer service calls for our online store. If you find yourself in a situation where you're taking a lot of calls, especially to get business done, here are some tips and tricks that may help:

Get a headpiece
Whether you swear by bluetooth or you like the free set of earphones that came with your iPhone, make sure you're not caught holding your phone. Having your hands free means you can write or type notes. And, with an earpiece closer to your eardrum, you won't miss what the caller's saying.

Press mute
If you're near your machine, nothing may be worse that someone popping in on Google chat with the annoying sound effects that come with it. Or, you don't want an iTunes song starting up accidentally. Just press the mute button to avoid this.

Schedule calls in succession
I try my best to have all my phone time on one day of the week. This way, I'll make sure that my settings are ideal for taking the call (in my office, door closed, mute button pressed) for an extended amount of time and will decrease the prep time needed to take a call. I'll also be mentally in 'call mode' and ready to speak to the person I'm phoning.

Always take the call
Peter Shankman does this, and he's done well for himself. Then again, Tim Ferris never does and he's done okay, too. So, it depends upon your work, but I'd side with Shankman. Just this week, answering the phone has led to me scheduling a book appearance, a press interview and signing a new partner. Sure, they could have left messages, but by appearing available and excited, I like to think it's better for business. Just be ready when you say hello.

Focus
If your computer's on so you can take notes, shut down the Internet. This isn't the time to be looking at Facebook photos or catching up on blogs. It's game time. Time for business. You don't want to blow something great just because you were too absorbed in someone's tweets. That'll be there after you finish the call and sign a new client, which will make for a better status update later anyway.

How do you get things done on the phone? Stand up when you talk? Use Skype for a little video bonus? Share your tips in the comments.

Photo credit: EverJean from Flickr

This post has nothing to do with my opinions of pipe organs. Nonetheless, my mother-in-law may still find it loathsome.

After nearly three years visiting almost every place that serves Sunday breakfast in Nashville, I think I found the best one – the one that I could visit over and over again. Of course, I need to go there again (maybe this Sunday) to make sure that I didn't imagine it, get lucky, or that it doesn't catch on fire this week. Sunday brunch with my family is important to me, so you can imagine how excited I am to find a spot that offers enough diversity for my picky family without having the word "cheesecake" in the title.

I'm able to go to Sunday brunch each week because I stopped going to church. This is so not where I thought I'd be ten or even five years ago.

But, I couldn't be happier.

Community – having a place where I belong and can be my most 'me' – is important to me. It's important to humans, really. We're social animals. We crave attention, affection, acceptance and connection. It's good when you can call someone 'yours.' It's better when someone can call you that, too.

But it's so hard to find. Like hope, people need it so badly they'll pay top dollar. So, if you can help create, develop and sustain real community, congratulations. You'll be rich very soon.

For a long time, church was a place where I could find community. It was a place to meet people, talk about stuff that mattered and be encouraged to be my most me. But, something changed. Maybe it was entering the real world. Maybe it was working for a living and understanding that time spent off the clock was time that I wanted to spend only on things that were truly personally enjoyable. Shopping for churches is never enjoyable.

In the process of all that, I started my own faith community. A handful of us gather at my home on Sunday evenings to talk about our weeks, dream together about how to be better people and our most respective selves, and provide support, hope, and insight for each other. We're all (mostly) former church members, vagabonds who have found a stopping point where we'd like to stay for a while.

I don't know if I’ll ever go to church again. Speaking in one (which I do about six times a year) and visiting one with my in-laws on Christmas Eve is about all the church-related exposure I get now. Lots of Facebook friends of mine work in churches and I wonder what their lives are like. A lot of other Facebook friends go to church a lot and really like it. I wonder what their lives are like, too.

Hopefully (certainly, right?), they've found a community there. Hopefully it's the best community they could find or else they wouldn't be wasting their time in a place where they couldn't be their most selves.

My biggest community moments happen each week on Sunday. One is in the morning over breakfast food with my family and the other is in the evening with those who are part of The Story. There's not much prayer, preaching, Bible reading or singing at either one. Maybe churches could provide a better actualization of community if they stopped doing all that.

Somewhere behind the north end zone (which is about mile 3.5 of my 6 mile loop), I wanted to stop. This sometimes happens – the wanting to stop running – especially when you're trying to run a half-marathon each month in a single year. Come Saturday, I'll be halfway towards that goal when I cross the finish line in Kansas City.

But that's then. And this is today. And today, I didn't much enjoy putting one foot in front of the other at 7-something in the morning. Even though it was relatively early by many peoples' standards, it was already warm. And that told me that it would be warm for all of my upcoming training runs until October. In between now and then, I'm supposed to complete half marathons in San Francisco, New York, and Disneyland.

So you can see why I wanted to stop.

But I pushed on. As Ira Glass carried on about classified ads in my headphones and traffic was picking up heading into downtown on Woodland Street, my shirt was getting heavier and I wondered who would really care if I just walked the rest of the way home?

I even could cut the route short and shave off a mile or so. No one would have to know.

Running analogies don't work on everyone, and I don't really have the time to wax theatrical (or poetic) about what happened next, so the point is this: sometimes you feel like quitting.

Don't.

Seth Godin calls it The Dip. That makes sense if you're an entrepreneur. But what if you're not? (some days I don’t feel much like one)

It means this:

• You keep applying to jobs. All 94 of them. You just have to.
• Even if you haven't made a sale in months, pick up the phone. Again.
• Your daughter never listens. Check that – she seems to never listen. But she really is. So keep talking to her.
• They're not returning your calls or emails. They may have a reason. Until you know what that reason is, keep trying to make contact.
• Your marketing plan isn't working. Get a new one, even if means getting a new consultant or firm or concept. Hell – you may even want to change your whole product line.

If you want to succeed tomorrow, you better get busy today. Sweat equity can never be measured. Thus, you can always put in more of it.

The first 16 months of Cool People Care were nearly embarrassing at times. But, now that we've been up and running for nearly three years, people that I tried to get a meeting with in 2007 are emailing me. That's just how it happens.

There is no such thing as overnight success. Unless you want to be a flash in the pan, too. That's the other side of that coin that no one talks about.

I've said it before, but it's worth repeating: If you want cathedrals of better tomorrows, her foundation must be laid today.

I don't know what sort of epiphany I had the other day, but this idea popped into my head: What would my 28-year-old self say to my 23-year-old self? Regardless of how old you are, I encourage everyone to think about what you'd say to yourself five years ago.

Half a decade ago, I'd been married for less than six months, was thinking about purchasing my first home, and had just been promoted to management at a job I was determined not to turn into a career. So many things were knew and exciting, and I was impatient for a lot to happen. In fact, I'd dare say that I'm a completely different person now.

I know a lot of people who are 23, or close to it. They're recent grads with big dreams and a desire to get where they're going now. I was that way, too. I didn't know it all, but I thought I knew most of it. But now at 28, I don't think I even know half of it.

So, here's what I'd say:

• You can't imagine where you'll be in five years. Embrace that mystery.
• It doesn't matter where you'll be in ten years. Just try to be happy with it.
• You're going to start eating a lot of salads. And you'll like it.
• Religious stuff ain't that big of a deal. You write a lot about it now, but you won't later.
• Love your wife more today than yesterday.
• You'll love running again.
• If you want to find balance in life, discover how important both flexibility and stability are to you.
• There are a lot of fine lines in life. Learn how to navigate them correctly and you'll be okay.
• Social capital is everything and it always will be.
• You don't have a clue.
• Your passions will change in life. Sort of like best friends.
• Go see everyone get married, but don't feel bad if you can't make one or two.
• Get better at learning. Always.
• It gets a lot more fun.
• Ask for help and ask for advice. It's okay.
• It gets harder to lose weight and it takes longer to burn off a night out. So even though you want more, one piece of cheesecake will do.
• For the next five years, save as much money as you can, spend time with your family often, and make a list of every good idea that pops into your head.
• Keeping asking, "Why not?"
• In about 10 months, you're going to get food poisoning really bad. So, steer clear of the shrimp on Easter.

I can't wait to see what I think of who I am now when I'm 33.

In two days, my wife finishes up her second master's degree. This one's in counseling. In some ways, I feel like I'm graduating on Friday. The past two years were downright hellacious at times, and stressful at others. But, through the exams, papers, class projects and reading assignments, we managed to make it as a couple.

To me, this is no small achievement. I've personally known of at least three marriages that didn't survive grad school for one reason or the other. Grad school wasn't necessarily the only thing to blame, but it doesn't make anything easier.

My marriage survived grad school. So can yours.

When one spouse is in grad school, the other feels like he or she is on the outside looking in. Someone they deeply love is (ideally) pursuing something they're passionate about, devoting time, money and energy into learning new skills or ideas in order to find employment that will help the couple maintain a certain standard of living for the next season of life. Likewise, the student is also changing. As they encounter new ideas and have new experiences, the spouse is often clueless, not knowing how this new knowledge is shaping or changing his or her spouse.

And then, before you know it, it's like you're married to someone else. The person you knew before school started may now have different perspectives, work habits, viewpoints, friends or goals. And unless you're clued in, you're in danger of not knowing who you're waking up to each morning.

Likewise, if the spouse is studying something that you're not interested in, something you can't help with, or something that's simply out of your league, you're generally of no use to them academically. If my wife were getting her MBA in marketing and had to come up with new brand campaigns, I'd be all over it, doing market research, staying up late, you name it. But because she instead had to write about the effects of childhood interaction when it comes to developing personality disorders in adolescents, I'm as useful as my cat (which usually curls up on my wife's lap when she's trying to write said paper).

So, what's a guy or girl to do when their loved one is studying away on an advanced degree? Below I share what worked for me and Lynnette, and hopefully you'll be able to weather the wretched storm that is higher education:

• Learn how to cook. I made my wife's day a million times better by having a hot meal ready when she came home after a long day of class, clients and crises. Whether I simply heated up a frozen pizza or perfected my veggie quesadillas, a warm delicious meal made her happy and showed my concern for her day.
• Change your schedule and get more done. As an entrepreneur, my schedule's flexible, so this may not apply to everyone. And, my wife's school schedule consisted mainly of evening classes, which again, may not apply to everyone. But, by moving my schedule around to work late when she was in class until 8, I was able to get more done, go more places, meet more people, work on more deals, and develop more ideas. This also meant I didn't spend chunks of time on the couch doing nothing, waiting for her to get home. I used that time on my business. For you, that may mean you can take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. Whatever you do, use the time wisely and be productive.
• Make friends with a couple – preferably one where everyone likes everyone else (the students like the students; the spouses like the spouse; and vice versa). This one is tough, but I will tell you this on the onset, especially as someone who has started two different grad programs: the people you hang out with the first month are not the people who become your better friends. When school starts, everyone's trying to meet everyone else. Therefore, you'll go hang out with nearly anyone until you realize who you like and who you don't. For example, twice during the first month of my wife's program, we went to a bar and out bowling with people I haven't seen since. It took a while for everyone to find their appropriate social network, and once we all did, it was all gravy. Now, my wife and I have a few other couples that we hang with. When the students in each relationship are studying late or working on a special project, the guys (yes, we're all guys) will go to grab a drink or catch a game. And, all eight of us can also get together for dinner or Apples to Apples when needed. Everyone's happy, and it's a great way to take a load off. Also, while my wife's out making new friends, so am I, and that's important for each partner.
• Take a load off. When your spouse goes to grad school, congratulations. Yo'’ve just become a concierge. Because I want my wife to succeed in school and in her job search, I handle all non-school related items. I grocery shop. I wash clothes. I pay bills. I take the cars in for oil changes. I feed the cat. I plan dinner. I'm not trying to baby my wife – I'm just happy to do those little things to make her stressful time a little less so. In a good relationship, you should be doing little things for the other person anyway, but when someone's in grad school, they've got enough on their plate. Besides, I kind of like going to the grocery store, anyway.

This list isn't comprehensive, and it's also not foolproof. It's what helped me and Lynnette make it, and hopefully there's at least one thing you can do to make sure that you stick together when your spouse goes back to school.

Marriages and degrees are both technically just sheets of paper. But good ones are treated like so much more.

Leave a comment! Is your spouse in grad school? What do you do to make sure your marriage succeeds?

I was asked to submit an essay on hope for a book that's coming out next year. I have no idea if what I wrote will make it into the collection, but this was harder than I thought.

I don't know why it was so tough to write about hope, but I ultimately concluded that we all need more hope in our lives, no matter how much we may think we already have. But, hope is something that we can get if we first offer it to someone else. Sure, we can buy it - but it's better to give it away:

Offer Hope from Sam Davidson on Vimeo.

The YouTube version.

I pack a lot into my week. I have to in order to get everything done.

One way I make that happen is to find three good hours. I use this time to either work on things that aren't glamorous, or to spend time focusing on things that are super fun. Either way, I find three interrupted hours and milk them for all they're worth.

For me, that's early on a Monday. By arriving at the office by 6 AM, I can complete everything before most people have opened their inbox.


Three Good Hours from Sam Davidson on Vimeo.

Watch this on YouTube.

So, here I go - trying the concept of video blogging. We'll see how long it lasts.

Today's topic: the important of simply trying. It's the first step, after all:


Just Try It from Sam Davidson on Vimeo.

Much has been made about Gen Y's insistence on a balance between their work and their life. The understanding of that balance, however, is different than previous generations, mainly because technology can be invasive, blurring the lines between when one is at work and when one is 'at' life.

Boomers didn't need to worry about this as much, since cell phones and Blackberries weren't ubiquitous. As such, doing work away from work was unheard of, mainly because it was difficult.

The lines began to blur with Gen X, who soon didn't want any of it, mainly because it was yet another thing that the big institutions couldn't be trusted with.

But Gen Y can handle it. They’re happy to fire off emails from the beach, or work from the comfort of their couch. Yesterday, one of my interns left the office (which is spacious, cool and comfy) to go work at Starbucks, where she could enjoy the unseasonably warm February weather while sipping a latte outside. She was still working since she was on deadline – she could just be portable with it.

But what about when the analog version of feature creep happens? How is a work/life balance maintained for the entrepreneur who's thinking about business all the time, even if he's not 'doing' it? What about the ambitious ladder climber who wants to get ahead and stand out? And what about the social media strategist who works for the startup who puts in long hours in hopes that the new company will make it big and she'll be set one day? Where does work end and life begin?

There should be a distinction, but not to maintain some straw-man of an argument. It should exist because it might just be the very thing that keeps you sane. Or alive.

If you're a "Lost" fan, you now know that if you want to make it on the island, you need a constant, that very thing that keeps you connected while your 'when' changes (but not your 'where'). It's the same in life. And with work. You need that thing that relieves stress, or can always take your mind off of work or helps you to remember that it's about more than the paycheck, the ladder or the resume.

The happened for Holly Hoffman. A recent health scare made her realize that life away from work is important. As such, she's learned to focus on that area of her being, to much praise and benefit.

Or take Rebecca Thorman, who recently wrote about her long hours and need to do it all, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend. I agree with her that work/life is a myth for most people, but not because it doesn't exist. Rather, I think it's an incorrect distinction.

I recently listened to a Harvard Business Review podcast during a long run. While the subject of the podcast was about the current recession, the guest noted that research suggest that the size of one's house has little to no bearing on personal happiness. In fact, the length of one's commute is a much higher factor. The lesson? Buy a smaller house closer to your job and you'll be much happier.

And here's why I agree with Rebecca that work/life balance is a mythical creation of earlier generations: we get the life part wrong.

We complain because we don't have time to watch all our TV shows. In reality, watching all those shows don't make us happier or have a better life. Or, we complain that we don't have time to play golf, go to the movies or go shopping. I really wonder if those things add up to a better life for anyone.

For me, knowing that I was rapidly running ragged while putting in long hours with CoolPeopleCare, I needed a new routine – one that allowed me maximum work hours while still allowing for those parts of my non-work life that I love. Here's how I did it:

Step One: Make it about life.
For me, I first had to find those parts of my life that I really enjoyed – those parts that I couldn't do without. As I examined how I spent my time, I realized that it was important to do things that relived my stress, instead of added to it. And for me, these were things I could do that kept my mind from wandering back to the company all the time. My list:

• Cooking for and eating dinner with my wife
• Meeting my family for Sunday brunch
• Running
• Reading

What's not on the list? Catching up on CSI. Buying a new shirt. Making sure my car is clean. I'd suggest that everyone find four things they love about life and commit to them each day or week. Find two to do alone and two that involve other people. Schedule them, and don't cancel. You'll be happier if these are a part of your routine.

Step Two: Figure out the work piece.
The life of an entrepreneur is unpredictable at best and a freakin' perfect storm at worst. But, in all of that, I had to find a routine in order to make sure I did the things that needed doing each week while allowing enough time to work on new projects and dream new dreams. So, I scheduled as best I could. I don't always stick to the schedule, but having it as a framework for each day and week helps me get more things done.

• The hours between 5:30 and 7:30 AM are for emailing, reading feeds and writing blog posts. As are the hours between 4:00 and 6:00 PM.
• Organizing your email GTD-style works, if you commit to it.
• Mondays are for writing all the content for the next week.
• Wednesdays are for meetings that generate new business.
• Fridays are for meetings that generate new ideas or contacts.
• Everything else stays flexible.

So yes, you can balance work and life. But chances are, if you're an entrepreneur or a Gen Y-er, you blurred those lines so long ago that they're nearly impossible to separate – like Kool-Aid. So, instead of trying to figure out how to juggle priorities, just make sure you stay sane.

On our way to speak to a group of teenagers about the environment last week, Stephen and I stopped for dinner at Dreamland. He'd never been and I'd skipped lunch, so it seemed like the perfect time to order some slabs of the best ribs on the planet.

Dreamland serves the kind of ribs that require a commitment. If you're going to get some, get the full slab, get ready for your hands and face to be covered in sauce, and sit there until every last bit of meat has been removed from every last bone. If you're not going to commit, then don't bother. Just go to some other (mediocre) rib joint and have a few there.

Sometimes, your work ethic, marketing strategy, social media use or game plan can lack serious commitment. My question to you is: then why do it?

Now, when rolling out a new shirt, when exhibiting at a conference or expo, when booking a speaking engagement or when coming up with a new marketing initiative, we at CoolPeopleCare ask, are we willing to Dreamland it?

Because if we're not willing to make the commitment to see it through to the end - success or failure - then let's not do it. If we're not excited enough, if we don't think it will work, if we don't think people will care to look at it, then hold off. Don't do it. Wait until we have an idea or strategy good enough to commit to. Then, carry it all the way to the finish line.

A friend of mine, upon graduating college, had a sweet deal to a top-tier law school, which could have amounted to a lucrative and promising business law career. But, weeks before he needed to be at class, he pulled the plug. He'd never traveled. He decided to backpack Europe and see some of the world. Everyone thought he was crazy except for one mentor/professor of ours who told him, "If you're trading this in for a vacation, don't. But, if you're exchanging it for a unique experience that will help you for the rest of your life, go all in. And don't come back until you've had the experience you need to have."

In other words, commit to something. Find something (or someone) worth committing to. You can play poker for hours by just anteing up and paying the blinds, but it's not fun. Going all in with your Ace-high straight, praying the other guy didn't hit the flush on the river - that's commitment.

You only go to Dreamland if you're willing to be elbow deep in ribs and sauce. You should only tell your customers about a product or service that's awesome or remarkable. This will also make your work more exciting because you'll have something ambitious or passionate to develop. Work that is neither can be outsourced, contracted, or doesn't need doing in the first place.

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Related posts:

• There's a Rumbling
• It's Like Milking a Fish
• How to Stay Creative
• How to Set Up a Brain Trust

My brother-in-law was banned from watching Double Dare when he was a child. Apparently, it made him too hyper when he witnessed the physical challenges that occurred when contestants couldn't answer the mind boggling trivia questions that Marc Summers threw out there.

The physical challenge was truly the hallmark of Double Dare. The show pandered to their young audience by dousing people with slime, making them wade through goo and get covered with muck. At the end of the day, one could make the case that it paved the ways to shows like Dirty Jobs, now that its audience has grown up.

And today, the idea of the physical challenge lives on. Deep within us is a desire to push ourselves physically, wondering just how much our bodies can take in order to get us in better shape, lose weight, or just feel a bit healthier.

Speaking of, how's that New Year's Resolution treating you? It's okay if you already broke it. After all, the 'real' first day of the year is today, since everyone's back in the office. Today is the day everything starts, right?

But if you're looking to get out of the resolution rut created by too many promises to yourself about eating healthier or watching your weight, then ditch your resolution and take the physical challenge.

What's Your Physical Challenge for 2009?

A physical challenge is a commitment to an activity that pushes your body to the limit. The limit. The limit of what you expect it's capable of. Thus a physical challenge does not look like the typical resolution. A physical challenge is not "Go to the gym four days a week" or "Run on a treadmill for 30 minutes." Granted, for some of us, that is physically challenging, but let's get a bit more daring.

Take a page from Adrian Reif's playbook. For his 24th birthday, Adrian is challenging himself to 24 hours of activity, all in an attempt to raise $2,400 for homelessness in Nashville. That's ambitious. That's a challenge.

For me, I'm aiming to run a half-marathon each month in 2009. You can track my schedule and progress in my blog's right sidebar. First stop: the Disney Half-Marathon this Saturday.

While a physical challenge is grueling, the upside is that even if you don't complete it, you've still done a lot, and you'll get better results than a traditional resolution. If I only run 10 half-marathons (instead of 12), I'll still have accomplished a great deal physically – much more than if I'd just resolved to "run more" in 2009. If Adrian only completes half his tasks and only raises $1,200, his accomplishments will still be admirable.

Don't simply be resolved – be challenged.

What's your physical challenge for 2009? Leave it in the comments below. One lucky commenter will get a copy of New Day Revolution so that you'll have something to read while you're laying on the couch recovering.

Next week should be a slow week in most places. Because Christmas is on a Thursday, and lots of people will get the day after that off, expect to see people using vacation days to get a nice week off. I'll be in Texas for eight days if you need me.

Because it will be a slow week (with everyone at Grandma's) you can expect a lot of out-of-office auto replies. And this means a lot of business won't get done (unless you're in retail). So, use the downtime to improve your career. Each day, spend an hour doing one of these five things and you'll be ahead of the game when the ball drops in two weeks. And, best of all, none of these require Internet access, so you can do them even if you're at Aunt Irene's (who's not quite Web 2.0 yet).

Work on your resume

I hate resumes. I really do. But a lot of the rest of the world doesn't, so you need one. Now is your time to make it shine, even if you're not looking for a job. So don't just update it – enhance it. Add a line about the marathon you completed this past year. Think about the most interesting aspect of your current position and play it up. Change the font and the layout. Lead with your passions, instead of your objectives. Use it to simply get the interview. Make it more about you than about your work. As my friend Bier says:

What matters more than the "most important" stuff at the top are the more interesting bits at the bottom. They tell more about the person. That stuff is important when you're applying for a job where your personality and outlook matters. If one is going to invest time in a cubicle, stick to the job section. If not, minimize the job section and put more in the fringe. Where have you been? You did what? How did you get into that? If your resume highlights those things, then an interview can revolve around you, and it will set you completely apart.

Get your personal elevator pitch down cold

Describe yourself in 30 seconds. Go. If you can't do it perfectly (and I do mean perfectly, not just well), then keep at it. Write it down. Edit it. Memorize it. Be able to articulate your past and your future concisely and creatively. If you want to stand out at networking events or cocktail parties, you need to be able to cut to the chase and tell someone who you are. "I'm Sam and I run a company," is not as good as, "I'm Sam. What do I do? Well, my schedule is never consistent, but almost always flexible. That's because I write in 99-word bursts each weekday about how people can save the world in less than five minutes." Guess which answer gets more follow up questions and allows for deeper networking? You don't have to start your own company to have a pitch like this. It will also work for teachers, attorneys, designers and accountants. Lead with who you are.

Describe your dream job in less than a minute

Lots of people tell me that their dream job would be to work at a nonprofit. I them ask them what they'd like to do at a nonprofit. I rarely get an answer to that question because people rarely actually sit and think about their dream job. Most people know it would be somewhere they're currently not. Spending the time it takes to accurately articulate your dream employment situation might just make it happen. After all, once you meet someone at the party and tell them who you are, they could become the connection (or the boss) you've been looking for. So, think about it. What would the hours be? The day-to-day work? The rewards? The location? Is it something you need to invent, or are you just waiting for an opening?

Set a routine

There's never a great time to enact a little discipline on your personal or professional life, but it always pays off. Use a slow week to set a schedule and then start sticking to it, no matter what. Following Tim Ferris' advice, I now only email three times a week. And it's a relief. I will sneak in and fire out an important, time-sensitive one (since a lot of my work can be), but if it can wait until Monday, Wednesday or Friday, between 9 and noon, then it will. This allows me to spend more focused time writing and reading, which allows me to spend time doing things I love with people I love. My wife and I are using the time away next week to downgrade our cable, which will also give us more quality time together (and save a few bucks). What will you schedule? Commit to reading for 30 minutes a day. Promise to write a letter once a week. Only read RSS feeds once a day. Work on your business plan each Sunday. Set a schedule. Write it down. See it through.

Find one, big, impossible goal for 2009

I didn't set out to do it, but 2008 was the year I lost 25 pounds. And now I'm pondering what my big, impossible goal for 2009 should be. I've got a list to pick one from:

• Find my own 30 Days projects to implement, all about living a simpler, more meaningful life
• Fund and double the size of CoolPeopleCare
  
• Run a half marathon each month
• Get my backyard properly manicured and maintained for less than $100
• Publish book #3

All big goals, and most of them will seem impossible (or nearly). Big goals are totally worth setting, even if they never happen. Lots of things happen en route to achieving those goals, and many of those might not have if you established them as their own benchmarks. For example, my own weight loss quest enabled me to eat healthier and develop an exercise regimen much better than if each has been its own end, instead of a means to one. So, find that one outrageous goal that needs to happen for you. Cut your monthly budget by 75%. Meet one new person a day for a year. Learn Spanish. Become a gourmet chef. Get promoted twice. Think it, set it, write it down, and commit to it.

Next week, in between YouTube clips, feasts, stockings and football bowl games, spend 60 minutes each day getting serious about your career. Five hours next week could come back to you 500-fold.

Q: What's the best weather for running 9 miles?
A: There is no best weather for running 9 miles. It's 9 miles for crying out loud.

Yesterday, I delivered 30 cheesecakes all over Nashville. My friend runs a booming business peddling these calorie-rich wares, and since the holiday season is his busiest, I was happy to lend a hand (and the back of my car) during a free morning. And, I'd make a little Christmas cash, which everyone loves.

One problem: when I showed up to grab my allotment for the day, it was raining. Hard. And getting cold. Can I pick a great day to deliver cheesecakes, or what?

As I drove, parked, delivered and repeated (getting wet and cold at every stop), I could only think that the next time I did this, it might not be so bad. Even if it were 20 degrees and dry, that would be an improvement. Or twice as wet and twice and warm. You get the picture. And even though there would be no next time (yes, I retired from the cheesecake delivery business the same day I started), it hit me: If you start doing something when it's the hardest, you'll have a competitive advantage over everyone else.

That's why I ran nine miles this past Saturday. It was barely 20 degrees in Nashville when I set out, bundled up. For the first half mile, I wanted to quit. I nearly did. But I kept going, covering all six miles to the start of a 5k, and then running the race. So now, when I cover 13.1 miles in less than a month in Orlando, it'll be a breeze. Sure, it'll be four more miles than I did this past week, but it will be a lot warmer than it was (hopefully).

How many of these have you heard?

• The worst time to start a company is during a recession.
• The worst time to ask for donations is after a presidential election (and during a recession).
• The worst time to lose weight is during the holidays.
• The worst time to go back to school is after you start a family.
• The worst time to look for a job is when you actually need one.

Or is it the best time? If you can succeed in the worst time, then you'll be on track to be the best in the best time. And being the best in the best time is way better than being the best in the worst time. I'll take either, mind you, but the best way to be the best during the best time is to be the best during the worst time, instead of simply sitting it out, hoping you'll succeed when the best time eventually rolls around.

Yes, success is easier in the best time. But it's still possible (and much better) in the worst time.

Do hard things. They make for better stories (or blog posts).

On January 1 of this year, I stepped on the scale and looked down. 203 pounds. Yikes.

I told a few friends about this. They didn't believe me. They said I carried it well. Still, crossing the bicentennial mark didn't have me feeling too hot about myself. So, I decided to go on a deliberate diet and exercise plan.

In six months.

So in June, I got serious. I'd been a runner since college, when I completed two marathons. But since traversing 26.2 miles nearly seven years ago, a lot has happened. I got married. I got a job. I started a company. I started liking the taste of beer. I got digital cable with DVR. I got burned out on running. None of those alone made me gain 40 pounds since I graduated, but I think all of them together formed some sort of mafia that kept me happy and full and the remote in my hand.

My friend Bier also pointed me to this post by Tim Ferris. I'm always suspicious of anything that promises fast results. I believe that real change, whether it's personal or societal, takes real time and real work.

Then, another friend told me he tries to do The 300 Workout. Again, sounds neat, but 1) I don't have access to things called kettle bells and 2) that looks really tiring.

And then, my sister didn't want her treadmill anymore, and since my family trades furniture like I used to trade baseball cards, it found its way to my guest bedroom. This triumvirate of fitness events combined and allowed me to make a commitment and stick with it, which is why I stepped on the scales today to a respectable 178. Over the last six months, I dropped 25 pounds, added muscle mass to my biceps and chest, ran my fastest 5k time ever (25:50) and feel fantastic. Here's how:

I ate more vegetables.
This happened mainly because they were always in my house. My wife and I joined a CSA with some other friends. So, each week, my fridge was stocked with peppers, cucumbers, potatoes, cabbage and squash. I've also become a very creative chef. I can work a cucumber into a pasta dish and you won't even know it's there. I'm not a vegetarian, but I'm nearly there. Eating more veggies than grains or meat will have you easily tossing a few pounds out the window. Salads – which I use to despise – are now a welcome sight at the dinner table.

I started sweating.
My wife wants to leave the house when I boot up the treadmill. Because after 20 minutes on that thing, I smell worse that Bonnaroo. But sweating a lot means I'm burning calories, which means I'm on the way to losing weight. When I first got back into running, I'd been well on my way to drenched after 10 minutes. Now, it takes about 30 to work up such a sweat. I'm steadily building my mileage and am planning on doing a half marathon every month in 2009. I love running once again and I see the results of my time spent on the streets or on the treadmill. Whatever your bag is, just make sure you're sweating for at least 30 minutes a few times a week. Play basketball, go for a walk, hop on the rowing machine – just make sure you get drenched.

I passed on the extras.
Not only does not picking up a six pack each week at the grocery save me money, it also saves me over 1,000 calories (the equivalent of a 10k). So does passing on dessert, choosing an egg-white omelet rather than French toast, and just eating one cookie at the birthday party. I was cramming whatever was available down my throat, thinking it would be easy to work off or that it would disappear naturally. Then I realized my metabolism drastically changed once I got my diploma. So, I go sparingly on the extras and order small portions at restaurants. I still treat myself every now and then (Ferris advocates one 24-hour period each week to eat what you want, and I agree that this is a good strategy); I just don't guzzle drinks and scarf brownies like I used to.

I made a commitment.
If you want a beach bod by spring break, this post isn’' for you (unless you're thinking about spring break 2010). Nothing of value usually comes immediately or overnight. It's the same with our health and bodies. What's also happened over the last six months is that I've developed lifestyle habits that I plan on continuing, whether I become a father, go back to school, move, change jobs – no matter what happens, I'm now used to liking veggies, looking forward to a run, and easily passing on seconds.

I'm no guru when it comes to eating or exercising. This is just what worked for me. I wish I could conclude with some cheesy before and after shots, but since I wasn't so deliberate about documenting this journey, I dug up what I could on Facebook. Enjoy.

Back in May, before I made the commitment:

A few weeks ago at a 5k in Nashville:

You've heard of so-called networking events. You go, maybe you dress up, you might take some business cards, you grab a drink, and then you find someone to talk to without embarrassing yourself. And perhaps even sometimes, you just end up talking to the people you came with, or someone you already know.

What was the point of that, then?

I often find the best networking happens at conferences, and not at local bars for young professional night. After all, everyone there (at the conference, that is) theoretically has similar interests, professions, or – at the bare minimum – swag.

And so I found myself once again networking at a conference. I traveled to Charleston, SC for the Blackbaud Annual Conference for Nonprofits. I'll be presenting tomorrow on how nonprofits can communicate with the next generation, but tonight was all about grabbing some sushi and a few business cards.

Above all, conferences nearly force you to network. After all, there's nothing to do but retreat to my hotel for the evening and watch Entourage. And the next two days will have me attending workshops, grabbing lunch, visiting booths – all in the same spot. In other words, I'm already here, so I might as well max it out.

If you don't go to at least one conference a year, you should – just for the networking. And when you book that trip, here are some ways to network at a conference, especially if you find yourself awash in a sea of people, one hand on your house merlot and the other nervously thumbing your business cards in your pocket:

• Get a good opening line. "Where are you from?" or "Did you come last year?" are lame. And you don't want people to think you're lame. Since I was wearing jeans and not a lot of people were, I went up to those rocking denim and announced I was glad to see someone else in jeans. I also found young people and told them I was glad to see I wasn't the youngest person there. Both lines/openers can't be said without at least half a smile, so you can at least count on a pleasant facial expression. And if someone thinks you're lame, who cares? You'll be gone in two days.
• Hand out your business card immediately. Don't wait for them to give you theirs. Hand yours over right after you say your name and who you're with. If your business card sucks, you need to get new business cards. When you get theirs, hold it in your hand until someone else in the circle gives you theirs or the conversation is over.
• Pick a compliment. Comment on the font on their business card or tell them you like the color of their jacket. You don't have to be over the top and you don't have to be a liar. But offering a meaningful and unique compliment will go a lot further than, "You’re from Milwaukee? I had a layover there once." Yeah – you and millions of others. But only a few people said they liked my cufflinks.
• Stay put – at least for a few minutes. If you're constantly in motion, walking around the room and darting your eyes looking for people looking for a conversation, you won't be able to be found. Mosey around, but pause out the open somewhere and take a sip or two. You'll be surprised at who approaches you.
• Set a goal. Try to meet 25 people. Gather 50 business cards. Meet people from 10 other states. Internal goals and benchmarks like this will make sure you stay long enough to make it worth your while.
• Leave at the right time. This is hard to determine, but if I've had 20 minutes of inactivity, I'm like a hard drive and I shut down. If you stay too long, you'll just be wasting your time, but if you leave too early, you missed some key opportunities. Decide before you go in how long you're staying so that it's worth your while and you can still rest up, especially if it's just the first night and you've got a presentation the next day.

Above all, when at a conference, network everywhere - at lunch, in the exhibit area, during breaks. Most of what you learn can probably be found in books or on blogs. But all of who you meet can only be found on site.

It's Halloween. And I'm haunted.

I'm haunted by a question so eerie that it has been known to startle me awake at night or creep up unexpectedly wherever I find myself. It's stealth is unparalleled, striking at any time, cutting deep into my mental marrow, leaving me scarred and scabbed.

I don't shriek in horror or cower in fear, though. I try my best to stare the question down, hoping it will vanish into the night and find another willing victim. I even try to answer it in order to placate its violent whimsy. But I know it's all for naught. And so does my question. It will return again, just when I think it's gone forever, sneaking upon me again when most vulnerable, least expecting and altogether satisfied.

Because the tug – and even the excitement – of this question never relents. Like a persistent itch that no scratching seems to subdue, it nags in its own penetrating way. The question crawls under my skin and seems to live with me, like a mysterious bump I'm not sure if I should get checked out. While it doesn't hurt to touch and may well be nothing, it could also be life threatening. But its removal could eliminate a part of myself, a part I've enjoyed internally chatting with for as long as I can remember.

There are times when I suppress the question with action. I begin a new venture, write a new article, give a new speech or develop a new idea. And I hope that my actions are loud enough to mute the words of my question. I hope that by doing something I can show my question a new qualification, a polished resume line or an accolade. I hope that I can mount up defenses against it, like you might pile furniture in front a door to keep the boogeyman at bay.

But my question always knows a way in. In fact, what I think are defenses against it – talents and accomplishments – are really more like vitamins for its soul. A new achievement prepares it for the next onslaught, stronger and more determined than ever to make me stop the very actions I've begun.

My question reveals itself when I'm most comfortable, resting high on my laurels. It comes full force and blares:

Are you doing the greatest amount of good?

And there I lay, seemingly paralyzed amidst my achievement. I scan the carnage only to see the tower I'd built out of my own contentment lying in rubble. A stone of accomplishment there, a pile of success here – it's all been washed away by the dangerous and disgusting morsel of doubt.

"Nice work," my question sarcastically observes. "But are you doing the greatest amount of good? Couldn't you be doing more if you were a teacher? More well known? Better educated? In a bigger city? Richer? Better connected? More involved?"

And just as I'm about to scream due to the deafening roar of my question, it slithers in to the darkness, forcing me to wrestle with my own self worth, instead of its hateful invective.

But recently, I've figured out a way to answer my question the next time it tries to slay me. I've hatched a plan in order to trap that which haunts me by way of its biggest vulnerability. Like teenagers in a horror flick, I think I’ve exposed the enemy and am waiting until it strikes again in order to counterattack.

Because if you want to defeat a question, you do so with a question.

The next time I wonder, "Am I doing the greatest amount of good?" I'll answer with, "How do you define the word amount?"

The tendency of those of us on the front lines of social change - those of us with the talents and passions to save the world - will always wonder if we could be doing something bigger and better right now that would bring about more change to more people much quicker.

And that's a wondering we'll always have lurking in our subconscious, ready to strike, unless we rethink the good we're doing. Not what it means, mind you – but rather how long we take to measure it.

Because ultimately, social impact and change aren't measured in one grand swoop. Indeed that's the myth that leads to inaction – that we must go big or go home. Rather, lasting change happens one step at a time, so that a lifestyle of change is the result.

Am I doing the greatest amount of good? Yes. Because right now I am doing good. And the good I did yesterday and the good I do tomorrow will be added up so that when it's all said and done, I'll stare my question in the face and pierce through its menacing frame with a sword of a lifetime of doing good. The sheer amount of my good will overwhelm its apathy and inaction and I'll stand over it, victoriously changed.

The Grand Canyon wasn't created by a tsunami, but rather by a single river, rushing on as rivers do, for centuries on end.

About 90% of my daily communication is done by email. I text and answer the phone, but I generate leads, follow up on them, keep in touch, and confirm appointments by email. In fact, I tell people, whether they text me to meet or call to schedule something, "Email me." (As I'm writing this, I just scheduled lunch today with my mom...you guessed it...via email.)

As you can imagine, this has me sending and receiving many messages on any given day. I don't know a ton of tricks, shortcuts or gimmicks, but I have learned this:

You can stand out and get a response when you ask a question.

So, lately, I've started closing emails with

What else can I do for you?

As opposed to

Let me know if you have any questions.

The question lets the recipient know you're interested in having a conversation, and that you've done the work required to get that conversation started. You're listening. You want an answer.

The generic "Let me know..." puts the reader in a no-person's land. How should they let you know? What's a valid question? What if it's just a small thing? Are you the contact for a particular issue? What if they have an idea, but not a question?

Don't be lazy. Ask a question and you'll get an answer and the collaboration, partnership, or deal will go to the next level.

Other good questions:

• How else can we work together?
• What concerns do you have?
• Any other ideas?
• Who else can we bring in on this?
• What have I not thought of?
• What's the next step?
• How can this be better?

As I mentioned last week, I had a very informal chat with a group of Vanderbilt student service leaders about leadership. And now I share some of those thoughts with you.

Last week, I discussed the idea (art, maybe?) of delegation. Today, I'm talking about defining success.

The students asked a lot of questions about conflict:

• What do you do when someone doesn't do what you ask of them?
• What if the person you're leading is your friend?
• What if people don't agree with you?
• What if you make a mistake?
• What if someone else makes a mistake?
• How do you best lead your peers?
• What if everyone’s 'equal' in rank, but you're in charge for a certain task – what if people don't want to follow you?

While conflict itself demands its own post, I think a lot of the above can be answered not with a discussion on conflict, but with a discussion about success.

I challenged the students to take some time (a half hour, perhaps) in one of their first meetings of the year to talk about success with their group and to answer, as a group, this key question:

How do we know when we're successful?

The answer will vary by group. Some will be successful when they register 100 new voters, some when they've shown six movies about diversity, some when they've increased active blood donors by 50%, and some when all of Vanderbilt knows they exist. While success and its definition will be different for each group, what remains consistent is this: everyone knows what it looks like.

At CoolPeopleCare, one of our key metrics for success is the depth of stories that emerge from our work. We are successful when we hear from people about how our content, products and resources have helped them change the world. Therefore, we all work towards this end, each of us doing our part, performing our tasks in order to help others make a difference. That's the same page we're all on.

And we all know it.

What happens many times is that people would be on the same page, if they only knew what that page looked like. Therefore, there's a deep need right when organizations form or start a new leadership cycle to have a candid and open discussion about how success is defined.

Then, people will work towards that, because especially in voluntary organizations, that's why people are there. So, when conflict does arise, when people question a task they're given or a decision that's been made, they can be reminded how such an act is leading the group toward their predefined goal of success.

Of course, the flip side is this: anyone has the right to question a move if they believe it is not helping the group move towards that idea of success. So, leaders, be prepared to be questioned. The upside is that this can prevent unilateral action and a single person from running a team into the ground. But you may have to pause from time to time to make sure every move is one that is steering the organization in the right direction. But such time is worth every minute.

Defining success will help you not only achieve it, but to make sure the organization thrives after a leader's tenure is over, or when it's time for the founder to move on. Some call it succession planning, and I'll be talking about it next week.

I had the unique and esteemed pleasure to keynote last night at Vanderbilt University's Service Leadership Conference. This three-day retreat is put on by the Office of Active Citizenship and Service and is for student leaders who oversee campus service organizations.

I was simply asked to speak about leadership. And, while my keynote time focused on the idea that leadership is a process, rather than a plan, and that leadership isn't something you do, it's also something you are, I also led a small group discussion about leadership.

About 30 presidents and vice presidents of various organizations were in the room to hear me talk about leadership and to share ideas and tools for leading others. Wanting to make sure that these students gained what they needed from our 45 minutes together, I asked them what their leadership struggles, concerns and problems were.

Then, we unpacked those issues, and I shared from my own experience, as a student leader in college, as a leader in the hotel world after college, as someone who taught high school students about leadership after that, and now as someone who leads CoolPeopleCare.

Over the next few weeks, I'll share some thoughts and rambles about leadership, drawn from last night's conversation. By all means: weigh in on this in the comments. Leadership is meant to be a dialog, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on each topic.

Leadership Issue #1: Delegation
For whatever reason, I delegate like a champ. If something Herculean needs to be done, and needs to be broken down into smaller parts to be realized, I think I'm pretty good at defining those parts and then dispatching people (hopefully the right ones) to complete the various tasks to get it done.

A student last night was concerned about delegation. His questions were ones like, "What happens if you delegate something and the person doesn't do it right?" "What if someone doesn't want to do what they're assigned?" "What should be delegated?"

What I've learned about delegation is this: If you love to do it, or are very good at it, don't delegate it.

This is why Craig Newmark doesn't run Craig's List and instead is a customer service rep. That's what he enjoys doing. He doesn't enjoy (and may not be good at) crunching numbers, striking deals and strategic execution. So, he delegates those tasks to a CEO and other such personnel.

Maybe you're great at spreadsheets or wonderful at speaking to groups. Maybe you like to write memos or sort paperclips. Maybe you enjoy casting a vision and have a knack for dreaming big. Whatever it is you excel in, that's what you should keep doing. (A big part of leadership then, is making sure that you've got the right team in place, which I'll discuss at a later point.)

But, if you're trying to decide who should do what and what should be delegated, give everyone authority over their own strengths and talents. Then, see what's left and divvy up responsibilities accordingly, and even allow for co-ownership of some tasks. That makes the things that no one likes to do a little bit more acceptable. For example, I may not like taking out the trash or cleaning the floors or setting up chairs, but if I know that my entire leadership team shares such unpleasant tasks with me, I'm happy to pitch in and do my part for the team.

Tell me: What do you delegate? How do you decide? Have you ever delegated something only to take it back later?