Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Pursuit of the Cool

While folding clothes and watching the Price is Right this morning, a prize package was announced as having a cool banjo. Someone please let Bob Barker know that banjos aren’t cool. Cool people may play them, but a banjo that used to be sold at Service Merchandise and may end up in the hands of an unappreciative soul like me is not cool.

I reflected on the word cool and how it has become sort of drab and meaningless now that everyone is using it. In order to reinvigorate the coolness of the word cool, I am hereby proposing a list of banned words and phrases that cool cannot precede:
  • Banjo
  • Jerry Springer Guest
  • Disease
  • Slaughterhouse
  • Pipe Organ
  • Pipe Bomb
  • Prison Sentence
  • Needlepoint
  • Fetus
  • Buick
  • Jodhpurs
  • Litter Box
  • Bassoon
  • Baby Stroller
  • Diaper
  • Slave
  • Bolo Tie
  • Intestine
  • Parasite
  • Intestinal Parasite
  • Iron Lung
  • Britney Spears CD
  • Salesperson
  • Casket
Add this list to the above.

Comments (5)

Anonymous

8:28 PM

pink slip

Anonymous

10:10 PM

Pat Robertson
Michael Jackson's Sheets
Sworn Enemies

I'm terribly hurt at the bolo tie comment, and can't help but hold onto the hope that in some way, a baby strolled could be cool.

We need to have you guys over for dinner next week ...

...blog by Sam Davidson. (I keed! I keed!)

What if said banjo was being played by Steve Martin? That's pretty cool to me.

Banjo by Steve Martin is cool, but only because most things (except Shop Girl) Steve Martin does can be labeled cool.

was a basson ever 'cool' i think this list is totally bogus. besides buick's can be cool if they are paid for!

&:~D