So I Voted

I think. Really, there weren’t that many choices (because no school board or council seats are up for grabs in my district). Most of my ballot was one person vs. Write In Candidate (whoever that is). So, I touched the boxes with the names of real people, and I was done.

But I didn’t feel like I voted for anything. When this many people are running against no one, why vote? This has been the lament of my generation, often coupled with a ‘lesser of two evils’ excuse as to why we don’t go to the polls en masse. But for me, it’s not that I’m disenchanted with the system and think it’s full of crooks and liars. It’s that if all you want me to do is stand in front of a computer and point and click, I do that to waste time at work. Why stand in line, sign my name a few times while driving from here to there in 100 degree weather?

So, here’s my proposal to make voting more exciting and increase turnout: combine civic duty with social duty. Pop the political bubble with pop culture legislation. We all know that people will only vote if they care.

If I ran the ballot, it would look like this (all answers are binding and will be passed as legislation in both houses and then enforced by police):

1) Do you want to keep Judge Good Ole Boy on the bench?
a. Yes
b. No

2) Should Lindsay Lohan ever be allowed to make another film?
a. Yes
b. No

3) Who do you vote for in the Republican primary for Senate?
a. Bob Corker
b. Van Hilleary
c. Ed Bryant

4) Can you wear white after Labor Day?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Only if you’re dressed as Colonel Sanders and it’s Halloween
d. When is Labor Day?

5) What about that other judge? Should we keep him?
a. Yes
b. No

6) And that other judge?
a. Yes
b. No

7) Will we ever hear from anyone again who has ever been on So You Think You Can Dance?
a. No
b. Only when they tell People Magazine they’re straight

8) Should we just go ahead and keep all the judges?
a. Yes

9) How do you feel about Keanu Reeves?
a. Hate him.
b. Love him, but hate his acting.
c. Can you really call what he does acting?
d. Only like him as Bill. Or Ted. Hey – what’s that other guy up to, anyway?

10) ‘Hail to the Chief’ plays when the President enters a room. If Bob Corker had a theme song, what would it be?
a. Write in answer only: ______________________

11) Why do you vote?
a. So I can blog about it
b. For the sticker
c. Civic responsibility and all that crap
d. Extra lunch break

And, I said I was a republican for primary purposes in order to give Ford and Bredesen crappy opponents. Talk about rocking the vote.