Moments of Wonder

I call them random Thursdays. The moments we least expect to happen that end up revolutionizing our lives are those we never forget. We think the moments that define us are those expected ones, when we take lots of pictures and invite all of our friends. The moments that make fairy tale movies are the ones we want to live and think will change our lives forever – weddings, job promotions, births, deaths, proms and retirements. But when we define the moments that define us, we can easily miss out on the random Thursdays life brings our way. For me, those are the moments that changed my life.

Don’t get me wrong – being born was quite monumental. Had that moment (or several laborious moments if you ask my mother) not happened, I would not be sitting here in a bathrobe with a lukewarm cup of coffee typing away this reflection. But, perhaps more monumental than my birth was my conception, which I’m told I had nothing to do with. Which brings me to another point I’d like to make: those unforgettable moments in life are rarely moments we control. As much as we’d like to be able to know that our life is going to be radically transformed next Wednesday as we back out of our parking space at Starbucks, life won’t let us plan in such a particular manner. Maybe this is why people say, “Life happens.” (I don’t know which people say this, but I do know that there are people out there invariably saying lots of things at any given moment in time, and therefore writers tend to quote them when they need to fill space or make a point.)

My wedding was quite monumental as well. But, the ceremony only served to cement a reality that had already taken place. The moment of my vows was not the moment that changed my life – it was the moment that changed my legal and official relationship status from ‘single’ to ‘married.’ Although everyone I love and who loves me came to watch, although my palms were sweaty, although I looked kind of goofy in a tuxedo, although a lot of money was spent on a party, the moment itself was a formality, a rite of passage. The moment I fell in love happened over a year earlier, and that was a moment that changed my life.

Being blindsided by life can either be a good or bad thing. The sad news of a friend’s untimely death leaves us in a whirlwind of sorrow, trying to find answers as we sift through the wreckage that death leaves in its destructive wake. Conversely, the jubilant news that someone’s cancer has been defeated, that someone has bought you a membership to the Jelly of the Month club, or that the cable is back on can magically change our perspective in an instant. It is these unplanned, never foreshadowed events that leave us breathless. As someone once said (again, I don’t know who said this, but it was someone, somewhere, and I feel like quoting him or her now), “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.”

I’ve had several of those moments. There was the moment my life fell apart, the moment I fell in love, the moment I started over, the moment I realized God was bigger than the Bible, the moment I couldn’t go back, the moment it all made sense, the moment I knew I had a story to tell, and the moment I can’t wait for. The moments that revolutionize us, the moments that call us to question our very identity, the moments that force us to stop and change everything, and the moments that make us realize everything is different are truly special moments. Because they are unforeseen, because they are rare, because they are unique, and because they are unforgettable, each moment requires its own reflection. Carved into our memory banks like that scar we got when we fell off our bike at seven years old, or like that etching on the cornerstone of our childhood church, these moments will never leave us. They weren’t drive-by moments, hitting us out of nowhere and running into the night. They stayed the course with us. Serving as a reminder, a history marker, and a tour guide, the moments stick with us, challenging us not to go back to who we were before. These are the moments that help us define what we think about ourselves, God, life, community, and tomorrow.

Denying their existence will only help us to travel deeper into the forest of denial. You may have already been challenged to dig up memories of moments in your life when everything changed. Perhaps you’ve let these moments fester under your skin, not wanting them to bubble to the surface because the next step would mean having to say goodbye, having to say you’re sorry, or having to try something new. Maybe this post will serve as its own moment for you, opening your mind, your heart, or your eyes to a fresh perspective, a fresh approach, or some fresh produce (if you’re reading this in the supermarket).

Whatever the moment or moments that have changed all of us, stayed tuned - these are the moments that changed my life.